Pick up your hire car at Miami airport and head for the land of beautiful people and small dogs
"We're the playground of the rich and sexy; a Mecca for the body conscious, fashion conscious and 24 hour party people!"
Oh yes, there's beautiful people in Miami. But culture vultures can feed their appetites too, by wandering among the spectacular Art Deco buildings.
Miami has thrown off its 1980s vice-ville reputation but that doesn't mean you can't kick up your heels and let down your hair.
There's a huge Latin American influence in Miami, the population being about 60 per cent Hispanic. Dust off your GSCE Spanish in case you need to ask for directions.
It's not just the locals that are super-hot. Temperatures are bikini-friendly most of the year, though you might experience the odd tropical storm.
Feast on Cuban-style roast beef, pork or seafood with black beans and rice, and if you can get hold of plantain chips order two portions.
Uber-rock chick Debbie Harry was born in Miami and enjoyed brief stints as a secretary at BBC Radio New York and a Playboy bunny before fronting the legendary Blondie.
In Miami it is against the law to imitate an animal.
"Water so clear, you can see to the bottom; Hundred-thousand dollar cars, e'ybody got 'em; Ain't no surprise in the club to see Sly Stallone; Miami, my second home." - actor and rapper Will Smith in his song Miami
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1. Miami MetroZoo
Safari for urbanites, this cageless zoo is home to more than 900 animals. That's a whole lot of manure.
There is a free parking lot on-site.
2. South Beach
Top up your tan ready for a night on the tiles. There are hundreds of bars, clubs and restaurants to hit, meaning the party stops only when you do.
Metered parking is available on the road alongside the beach. Or you can park your hire car in the city centre and then jump on the South Beach Local Circular bus for just 25 cents a trip.
3. Shark Valley
Make like the kid from Gentle Ben and take an airboat ride through the Everglades National Park - right on the edge of the city. Alligators, otters and flamingos are just some of the beasties lurking in the waters.
There is free on-site parking for your hire car.
4. The Deering Estate
A vast historic and environmental reserve with canoeing, butterfly hikes and even fossils. Like Jurassic Park but with less danger of death and more stately homes.
You can park your hire car at the Visitors Centre, which accommodates about 51 vehicles, or alternatively you can park along 72nd Avenue.
5. Miami Seaquarium
Aquariums? Whatever. Miami's got a SEAquarium. Florida's oldest sea-life fun park even has dolphins that can walk on water. Holy sea-cow!
There is parking on site costing $8.
1. Coral Castle
East Coast America's answer to the Taj Mahal. Ed Leedskalnin built a fantasy realm out of rock and shells as a labour of love for the woman who jilted him.
Head south out of town on the US-1. It should only take you around 30 minutes to get there.
2. Fort Lauderdale
The Venice of America, boasting 300 miles of canals with bars, restaurants and a thriving gay scene. It's less likely to sink than the original, too.
Take I-95 north out of Miami. It's around a 30-minute trip to Fort Lauderdale.
3. Key Largo
The largest of the Florida Keys is the place to swim with dolphins and feast on gut-busting key lime pie. Stuff it in - it's not the same back home.
Go south on US-1, before branching onto the SR-5. It should take around an hour and 20 minutes to get there.
4. Ah-Tah-Thi-Ki Museum
Learn to navigate swamps like the natives while you discover the real Florida at this museum to the indigenous Seminole Tribe.
From Miami, go north on I-95 then west on Hwy 84. This should take just over two hours.
" The first thing you should be aware of is that Miami's streets run from east to west, and the avenues go from north to south. Once you get the hang of this you should find your way around pretty easily. In the past decade or so the signposting in Miami has improved a lot too, so it's much harder to get lost! If you're driving to South Beach and parking alongside the sand, make sure you pay the correct fee in the parking meters, because the meter cops are hot in that area. "
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